Picture me sitting down for a lovely meal with some of my favourite humans. I’m all excited to catch up on the latest goss but the looming decision of what to eat is before me.
Cue the internal insane convo I have with myself:
Hmmm, what the hell should I eat?
I’m sooooo flippin hungry I could eat my left arm but that’s probably frowned upon in public. I really should have had a snack before coming out to dinner, it’s going to take ages for the food to come out so maybe I should order some bread to start? Dammit no Elise! No bread you fool- remember how bloated you’ll feel? What’s that saying ? A moment on the lips but forever on the hips?
Ok ok, focus, it looks like everyone else has already decided what to order, because they are normal people who don’t have need to obsess over a simple choice about what the hell they are eating!
Ugh, alright so maybe I get the burger but only eat half the bun!? But then I’m that guy who eats her burger with a knife and fork…and nobody likes that guy. Ok so maybe the ceaser salad is a better option- but didn’t I read something the other day saying that the dressing on salads is often worse than eating a burger and chips or something?
What if I get it without the croutons and with the dressing on the side that makes it resemble rabbit food a bit more? ‘Cause that’s clearly the goal right? To eat like a bunny?!
No stuff that, last time I did that I was starving in an hours time and I got super tipsy, so not necessarily the worst outcome.
Crap! Ok, I’ve got it… what about the burger sans bun, I’ll sub a salad for the fries and then I’ll make sure I get up early for that ass kicking barre class tomorrow am.
Who the hell do I think I am, the bloody Queen of England? I’m now the most high-maintenance customer on the planet and who am I really kidding. I’ll probably feel like shit no matter what I eat and spend the rest of the evening figuring out how to burn off those guilty cals regardless.
Ok so scratch that.
Dear god I’m hungry! This is full on Hanger people. Sound the alarms!
Maybe I’ll just get the bread now and then I’ll be able to think more clearly. For fucks sake now I’m feeling a bit woozy, how much water have I had to drink today? Probably not nearly enough. Oh shit, I think Jess just cracked a joke – everyones’ laughing and looking at me…was it about me?
Should I just laugh and play along. Do you think they know that I haven’t been listening to one second of anything they’ve been saying? Shit Elise, sort your life out and just fricken decide what to eat! It really shouldn’t be this hard!
If you’re anything like me, you’ve experienced this conversation in your head one too many times.
I, of all people, GET IT. (I mean check out that cray cray convo above..awkward to say the least).
I’ve circled through that convo more times than I’d like to admit.
Luckily it’s taught me a thing or two and I’ve come out the other side with a lot of experience and knowledge and I’ve learned a hellofalot about myself and the human psyche in the mean time!
The good news?
I’m living proof that it doesn’t have to be that hard AND (spoiler alert) it isn’t once you know the in’s and outs of how to eat for YOUR body.
Once you two are back on the same team, deciding what to eat is easier than saying “yes” to dessert.
And guess what else- you’re allowed to have dessert!
So if you’re ready to have your cake (and quite literally) eat it too whilst still smashing out ‘dem bod goals hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s set you up with a FREE mini consult to get you back being able to hang out over dinner like a normal person again.
There are only 7 spots my little restauranteurs and it’s first in best dressed. So hop on over if your ready for this jelly!